Weekend Continued...

Thank goodness the rest of my weekend went much better than Friday.  On Saturday, we went out for my mom's birthday with my family to Limestone for dinner.  It was kind of nice that we had the place to ourselves since they weren't even officially opened yet.  Then, Ray and I went to the Bulls game with Katie and Greg.  It was fun to be at a game, and it has been so long since I've been to one.  Plus, they won. 

Saturday, we went out to eat at Houlihan's with Ray's family for his Grandma's birthday.  Kenley got to show off her walking skills to everyone.  Then, Alison came back to our house for a little while and Kenley walked all the way across our living room/dining room all by herself!  That is the most steps I have seen her take.  It will be no time until she is walking everywhere. 

So, it was a nice weekend, but it did go by really fast.  I didn't realize until just about now that I didn't get done a lot of my weekend "chores." The usual fun stuff of dusting, vaccuming, and cleaning the bathrooms.  Oh well, I think I deserve a little break after Friday.  Here's to praying that this week goes okay at school!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

The terrible, horrible, no good, VERY bad day

I normally post about the good things going on in life, so please beware that this is NOT one of those posts. 
I just need to decompress.  So, I will write about my horrible day and then it will all go away...right?

So, my morning started out by getting ready for work.  Normall stuff, rushing around trying to get it together to finish out the week.  I grabbed my coffee and got Kenley in the car, and within minutes she started crying.  She is usually pretty good about being in the car, but if she cries she can usually be calmed if I pass her a toy or her sippy cup. Well, not today.  The entire 35 minutes that it takes to drive to her babysitter's house she cried, and screamed, and threw a hissy fit.  Nothing I could do cold make her happy despite my efforts to pass her her sippy cup, snacks, toys, sunglass, my I-pass, and pretty much everything within my reach.  Nevermind that I was trying to drive on I-55. When I dropped her off at Sally's house I thought she would calm down, but she didn't.  So, I had to leave Kenley while she was crying and screaming and then head to work.

Then, I had a horrible day at work.  Without going into too many details, lets just say that I had to have 2 security guards and a dean come down to my class.  These are ongoing issues I've been having with the same students.  Honestly, I don't know what to do about it and I dread having to go back to these classes next week.

Meanwhile, it had begun snowing around 11:00 or so, and I was anxious to get home.  So, I rushed out of school as fast as I could to go pick up Kenley and try to beat the traffic.  Ya, right.  Not only was I stuck on I55 for almost 2 hours, but again, Kenley was NOT a happy passenger.  I spent about 3 hours in my car and about 75% of it Kenley was screaming.  I don't blame her; I wouldn't want to be strapped in a car seat that long either.  I took a little break from it by stopping at my parents house to feed her, but I was determined to get home.  From their house to mine was over an hour because LaGrange was closed down at one spot. Kenley continued to cry the whole way home. I tried so hard to be patient, to block out the screaming, to console her, but at one point I just lost it and yelled, "Stop crying!"  Immediately, I felt terrible.  Luckily, we got home safe, and I think we were both pretty exhaused from the day.  Kenley sat on my lap in our dark living room for about 15 minutes.  She never does that.  I whispered, "I'm sorry, and I love you" a million times to her. 

Now, here I am waiting for Ray.  I can only imagine his day must have been just as bad because he left the city at 3:30, and now it is 8:53.  I feel terrible for him.  And all we have to eat are lean cuisines. 

So, I'm mad at the world today.  Mad that I had to leave Kenley to go to work, mad at my students, mad at my job, mad at the snow, mad at the other drivers, mad at myself for taking out my frustrations on my precious baby girl.

All I know is that this weekend can only get better.  I'm going to go to sleep and try to forget about today.
Thanks for letting me vent!

A few firsts

Kenley was able to experience a few more "firsts" the last week or so.  We attended a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, and it was our first time bringing Kenley there. I'm sure it's not the last either.  She had fun, and she was actually able to go on a few of the little rides they had.  She also got up close and personal with Chuck E. and wasn't even afraid.  Next stop, Great America!
 

Last Friday, we got a few inches of snow, so I bundled her up in her snowsuit and took her in the backyard in her sled. She couldn't even move in her snowsuit, but she liked being outside. It was her first time playing in the snow, and she seemed to like being pulled in her little sled until  tipped over and she got a face full of snow.  I felt terrible, but she recovered after a minute.

Ray and I also took her to Gymboree this weekend for their "open gym." Kenley loved crawling around and exploring everything, and she especially loved the slides.  Ray was a good sport considering there was only one other dad there.  He joked about how I fit right in socializing with the other moms.  It was nice to meet a few other people with children right around Kenley's age.  Kenley loved being a social butterfly, and seemed to make friends with a four year old boy.  We better keep an eye on this girl already!  It will be a lot of fun to take her there over the summer once she is really running around like crazy.  She is taking more and more steps, so I'm sure she isn't far from it.

We also spent a good part of Sunday at IKEA picking out a new TV stand and coffee table. I think we walked around the entire place at least 3 times.  Should I mention that it was because Ray insisted that we would be able to remember what we liked, and it would be on display again where you actually pick up the furniture- wrong!  But, we got what we wanted and Ray worked for a few hours on Monday putting everything together.  

This week was the start of the 2nd semester at school.  The bad news is that I got back all of the students that were dropped.  We can drop students that have 10 or more absences if they are failing and have behavior problems. The good news is that half of the school year is over! 

 I stopped by my friend, Megan's house one day last week.  We worked together, and her daughter, Abby, is one month younger than Kenley. The girls loved each other and spent the first five minutes just laughing and looking at one another.  It was precious!

Just call me a Loser

Yes, I've joined the "Biggest Loser" competition at work.  Anyone that knows me knows that I have had my share of weight issues since high school.  I was never a skinny girl but never really worried about my weight until my sophomore year of college when I had to face the fact that I had put on more than the freshmen fifteen.  So, that year I started Weight-Watchers with my mom and also started running.  After losing about 35 pounds, I vowed I would NEVER go back to that weight.  And, I haven't.  Well, except for the obvious of being pregnant.  But, every year I struggle between 10 pounds up and down.  It was a bit scarry during my pregnancy to see my weight go up so much, but I honestly didn't mind too much.  I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy,about 45 pounds!  (I have to justify-I was at one of my lowest weights when I got pregnant, we were remodeling out kitchen, so we ate out every meal for 2 months, and I was restricted from running, oh ya, and then there were times when I would eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for breakfast....)

Anyway, I had great motivation to lose my pregnancy weight for my sister's wedding this summer, and I was pretty happy with my progress.  Unfortunatley, like every year, I have gained back a few pounds this winter. It is so much harder for me to eat healthy and work out! In the summer, I run outside almost every day and it is so much more motivating to me. I know I am making excuses, but when I get home and it is already dark out the last thing I want to do is go on the treadmill.  I also have a hard time getting on there because I cherish the 2-3 hours I actually get to spend with my little girl before bed time and I feel like I would be taking that time away from her.  And, when I don't work out, it's always leads to making bad choices with food.  Vicious cycle....

So, enough with these excuses!! I have my first weigh-in tomorrow, so we will see how it goes.  I am just doing it to motivate myself and hold myself accountable in some way.  I have already had a few healthy days of eating, and today will be my 3rd day of working out.  I got some new cardio work-out videos so that I can work out in the living room while Kenley plays.  Plus, she laughs at me when she sees me jumping around like a fool.  I am also using myfittnesspal.com to log my daily caloric intake.  Total, I would love to lose about 10 pounds.

Anyone else trying to shed a few pounds?

Hello 2012!

Happy New Year!  We celebrated New Year's Eve by having our friends Jim, Melissa, and their son, Caden over.  It was our second New Year's spent with them, and once again, it was a good time.  It was fun for the kids to play together for a while until Caden was picked up by his grandparents and Kenley went to sleep.  Then, it was nice to have some time with just the 4 of us, since we always get together with the kids. We are so excited for them because they are expecting their second child in June!  Kenley will have another friend! We also had our parents over for New Year's Day.

I had to go back to work this week, but it was an easy week since we only had to work 3 days.  I was also happy because the night before I had to go to work Kenley took 3 steps!  Ray and I were so excited that we got to share this moment as a family and have been trying to encourage her to walk more and more the last few days.  This morning she got up to 5! 

I'm excited that tonight is our annual "Girl's night" with all of my friends from high school.  I don't get to see many of these girls very often, but it is funny that when we all get together it seems like no time has passed.  It will be fun to see everyone and catch up.

Here were some pictures that I took of Kenley in the bath. She absolutely loves her baths, and now she gets mad when I take her out!

Hanging Out

Really, the last few days I've just been hanging out.  And that is exactly what I wanted to do over my Christmas break.  I didn't have any extravagant plans over break, and I was happy about it.  I've been enjoying the last few days just playing with Kenley, cleaning, organizing, and actually cooking dinner.  Wouldn't I have been such a great 1950's housewife?  It has been fun getting to spend so much time with Kenley these last few days.  She is saying so much now including Doggy, kitty, chicken, and many other things that she will sometimes repeat.  She is also turning into quite the little daredevil and climbing on everything.  Last night, I left her downstairs in our lower level for ONE minute to run to the kitchen to grab her some juice. I heard her little giggle and turned around to find that she had crawled all the way up the stairs!  I freaked out for a second and ran and grabbed her, but she was fine.  I think she was quite proud of her accomplishment.  So, we got the gate to stop her from falling down the stairs, but now I guess we have to really watch her climbing! 

In other exciting news, I can now share that Ray's sister, Alison, got engaged right before Christmas!  I wanted to wait to post so that she could tell all her friends and family first.  Ken called Ray a few days before to let him know he was going to propose, but we thought it wouldn't be for a few more weeks.  Luckily, we didn't have to keep the secret long!  We are very happy for them, and her ring is gorgeous! 

Well, I'm onto a dentist appointment :(

Everything & More

We had such a great Christmas!  It was everything I hoped it would be and more!  We had such a fun day, and I think I had so much fun just watching Kenley all day.  She was having the time of her life and didn't miss a moment!  We started out Christmas Eve night going to Klaus resturaunt with my Mom's side of the family. It was fun seeing my cousins, and really nice that we had a private room so Kenley could crawl around.  When we got home we prepared our milk and cookies for Santa and made sure everything was ready for his big arrival!  (oh ya, and Ray had to wrap presents last minute)

We wondered what time Kenley would be up and were pretty surprised that we were up before her!  Ray was so excited that he couldn't wait any longer so we woke her up around 7:30.  It was so fun to watch her actually pull things out of her stockings and play with the toys she got.  I was excited to finally give Ray his I-pad, and I don't think he has put it down yet!  I was spolied by Ray and got a beautiful grey Coach purse, pjs, perfume, and a gumball machine, among other gifts. 

Then we got ready and headed to my mom and dad's house.  We had brunch with my dad's side of the family and opened a ton of gifts!  Then, we went to Ray's mom's house for dinner and opened more gifts!  We all got really nice gifts, and Kenley was so spoiled by all of her family members.  She was having a blast playing around with everyone and checking out all her new toys!  I can't even begin to list what she got, but let's just say our family room looks like Toy's R Us right now. 

It was really one of the best holidays that I can remember, and I think it was because I was just able to relax and have fun.  I just loved watching everyone watch Kenley and it made me happy knowing she was having so much fun.  We are so lucky to have our families close by so that we can celebrate with everyone!  Now, on to enjoying the rest of the week and start finding room for all these toys!

I didn't take a ton of pictures on Christmas because once we were with the families I was too caught up having fun, but here are a few from Christmas Eve and the morning.

      

   

The nice list

So, I think I am FINALLY done shopping!  I think that I have thought I was done for the last 2 weeks, but then I would always think of something I forgot to get, or one little thing here and there that I I had to pick up.  All that is left to do is finish wrapping.  I don't even know how our tree could possbily fit more gifts under it.  I am excited about the gifts I am giving this year, and I hope everyone likes what I got them.  The only thing missing now is a little dusting of snow.  It is abnormally warm right now, and I think it was almost 50 degress today!  Normally, I would be the last one requesting cold weather, but I would like a white Christmas.  Just not too much, so that we can still get to our holiday parties easily!

Last night, Ashlee and Will came over with their kids, and it was the first time that all of the adults were able to get together in over 2 years!  It was fun watching the kids play together and seeing how excited their kids are about Christmas.  They were so excited to show me a video Santa sent them telling them that they made it to the nice list. It gave me an idea of how fun it will be once Kenley really gets into it.  It will be fun this year since she will be much more alert and playful.  Last year, I'm pretty sure she slept the majority of the day.  I remember everyone was so excited for the few minutes she opened her eyes. 

So, I'm just enjoying these few days before Christmas.  Right now, I'm baking cookies.  Well, by baking I mean cracking apart the pre-made cookie dough, and putting it in the oven :) Hey, I think that counts!  I don't want Santa to be hungry when he gets here. 

Here are some pictures I took this morning of Kenley in her Santa diapers.  Look at those little buns!

Rough Start, Strong End

Tried to think about how to summarize this week, and rough start, strong end is just about perfect.  I had a very rough week.  I'm not usually much of a crier, or, at least I try not to be, but this week I did my fair share.  It started off with a really hard start to the week in school.  I have two classes that are just driving me crazy lately.  So, after those bad days at work all I wanted to do was pick up Kenley and come home and try to enjoy a few hours with her and Ray.  Kenley wanted nothing to do with me Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night.  She cried and tried to get away from me the second she would see me. Talk about breaking a mom's heart :(  I already have total working-mom guilt, and this only confirmed my fears that she would not want her mommy because I am spending so much time away from her.  I know that this is completely normal for kids to go through, and I shouldn't take it personally.  But, as much as I tried to tell myself that I couldn't help buy feel horrible.  So, by the third night, I basically had a break down. I was getting anxious about the weekend, since we already had plans for my parents to watch Kenley so we could go out to celebrate Greg's birthday.  I always feel so conflicted because I do like to go out sometimes, but it IS hard for me to be away from Kenley on the weekends because that is what I look forward to all week. I think it is kind of hard for me to explain, but sometimes I just get worked up anticipating being away from her even if it is just for a few hours.

But, anyway, the end of the week was better.  Thursday and Friday went much smoother at school.  I forced my one class that had been giving me hell to do silent work until the end of the week.  Two of my favorite students from another class even wrote me the sweetest letter telling me that I was their favorite teacher.  It was much better picking Kenley up those days, and we were able to spend some time together both nights. Kenley was so snuggly to me on Thursday and Saturday, that I swear, she was trying to make up for the rough nights before. Friday night we went to dinner with Joan, and it was so nice being able to catch up and have some girl talk. Saturday, we went out for my sister's graduation from her Master's Degree Program and my dad's birthday.  Later,  that night, my parents watched Kenley so that we could go bowling with Katie and Greg to celebrate Greg's birthday.  I was really glad that we went and we had a fun time.  

I am determined to have a good week this week!  I only have 2 days of work until I start my 2 week Christmas break!  I can not wait to just be home and spend every minute with my little girl.  I know Christmas is going to be so much fun with her this year.  I am happy that Ray will also have a 3 day weekend for Christmas and New Years.  I am going to focus on my family and getting in the spirit of Christmas!

1st Birthday!

That's right, Kenley is officially ONE!  How is it possible?  We had her birthday party last weekend at the house, and it turned out great!  Kenley had so much fun being the center of attention, eating her cake, and opening all her presents (well, of course she had help with the last one.)  It was fun celebrating with our families and Kenley was so happy all day.  I think there were about a million pictures taken, so pretty much every moment was captured.  Ray and I took the day off today to celebrate with Kenley and we took her to go see Santa!  We had no delusions that she would be too happy and we were right.  She was okay until it came time for her to actually sit on his lap.  But, we still got some pretty funny pictures.  There was the slightest dusting of snow on the ground this morning, and I couldn't help but think about how it snowed while we were in the hospital the day after she was born. 

I thought I would reflect on a few things about this past year:

I realized that I was meant to be a mom.  I don't mean this in the sense that I am the best mom, or that I always know what to do, but for the fact that I love every minute of being a mom.  I always hoped that I would have a baby girl, and I am so lucky that I got my wish.  I remember when we found out that she was a girl, and I truly felt like it was too good to be true.  Before Kenley was born, people would tell me that being a mom is hard, but totally worth it.  I am pretty lucky to say that Kenley is such a happy, easygoing baby that being a mom has not been hard, it's been awesome!  Sure, there are days that are hard, but that is mostly because I get sad about being away from her when I am at work.  It's hard that I can't be with my baby girl all the time, but as soon as I'm with her she puts a smile on my face. 

Kenley has brought our family even closer.  Ray and I have seen a new side of each other now that we are parents.  We bonded over our precious girl, and the two of us look at her in amazement like only parents can.  I love seeing them together and the way Kenley's face lights up when her daddy plays around with her.  Ray and I have both always been close with our families, but Kenley has only made us closer.  We are so lucky to have so  much love, support, and help from our families.  Kenley is SO loved.

Things I never want to forget about this year are:  The nights when I was exhausted, but I would get up in the middle of night with Kenley and it was just the two of us, (sometimes for hours and hours...)when Kenley first rolled over on Easter, and Ray and I were the first ones to see it, when we went to the zoo for the first time, running in the jogging stroller with her in the summer, taking her to the pool, getting her out of her crib in the morning when she is waiting with a big smile on her face, listening to her babble...man, this girl has a LOT to say!  When she learned to give kisses, when she learned to wave, when she doesn't want to go to anyone but her mommy (yes, this secretly makes me happy) when she will snuggle, which isn't often, when she smiles and laughs at the stupid things I do to get a reaction out of her.  This list could probably go on and on, but these are just a few of the things I want to remember.

Happy 1st Birthday Kenley!  We love you so much and you have truly made this the BEST year ever!